How Would I Pay

How would I pay
Now I don’t care
By the time I’m done with this hand
Maybe I won’t need this hand
So come on and deal this hand

I ordered more than I can afford
I used to spend all that I earned
I put too much on my plate
Wait till it weighs on my chest

When the record stops I rewind it with my pencil
How would I pay I’ll find a way

Maybe I’ll wait by the street and bend for any car that stops
Maybe I’ll end up dead by next Monday
Right now I don’t care

Lenses without a nick
I’ll get them in the afterlife
But I don’t even believe in the afterlife
Maybe I’ll fall and loose my mind
Maybe I’ll get run over by a great Dane
Maybe I’ll run straight into the traffic and hug the long-worn neck
Of a horse with outwards teeth looking much like me

These walls are the only thing never saying goodbye
Dropping my windbreaker’s last button into the slit
The driver gives me a bad look
What does he get out of this
What does anyone get out of any of this

I might come back as a gun dog
I might come back as a gun dog

come back as a gun dog
retrieve a dead mouse flat on the road
These walls I brought them on myself
No rest for my kind
Bend for any car
In the grey rather than dark
Now I feel drawn in
I want the whole egg
Don’t order me to swallow
I’ll have to charge extra for that
In the grey rather than dark
Getting heartburns first thing in the morning
I sit in the light for hours until it’s gone
I forget my dead name

I forget my dead name
Come back as gun dog
Forget my own name