午夜尼泊尔 Midnight in Nepal

以为经历了552个小时
会是降落后的一个拥抱
但那一头却什么都没有了

我想我一直都知道故事的结尾
但不愿面对负面的情绪
因为每次下场都让我的内心死了一部分

我在这 坐著吸烟室里哭著
什么都分辨不清楚了
我一根接著一根的点燃自以为的心理治疗
好像这就真的能减轻些痛苦

电话的另一头 你说了“抱歉”
你到底想怎么玩弄我的脑袋？
说著“我们还能当朋友”
“未来总是未知的”
却又在我保持距离时说我惨忍？
谁会在机场这样道别
明明午夜时我就要离开尼泊尔了

你大可给我一些线索
让我知道你把东西都打包、房间清空了
我想了八十二种可能性
想著那些可能性里的每个未来
但没有一个是这样的 不该是这样的

我在这 坐著吸烟室里哭著
听著电话里那三分钟的寂静
我不敢挂掉电话 也不敢道别
因为我知道一旦这么做了 就是再也不见

电话的这一头 我说了“我恨你”
但明明我是很想跟著心里走的
说著“你太自私了 我不会回头的”
但时间重来我还是会再选择你
我不该这么做的 对吧？

电话的另一头 你说了“抱歉”
你到底想怎么玩弄我的脑袋？
说著“我们还能当朋友”
“未来总是未知的”
却又在我保持距离时说我惨忍？
谁会在机场这样道别
明明午夜时我就要离开尼泊尔了

Waited 552 hours
Thought it’d be a hug after landing
But there’s nothing on the other side

I think I knew the ending all along
But wouldn’t face the sorrow
‘Cause every time I’d end up being dead

Here I am, sitting in the smoking room crying
Can’t see clear anymore
My therapy, I light them one after one
As if that could ease the pain

On the other side of the phone
You said, ‘I’m sorry’
Tell me what you want to do with my brain
Saying ‘we could still be friends’
‘There will always be the maybes’
And you call me cruel for staying away
Who breaks up like that in an airport?
When at midnight, I’m leaving Nepal

You could’ve even given me some clues
Of how I’ll return back to home
With your stuff all packed and gone
Went through eighty-two scenarios
Of what our future holds
And it’s nothing like this, it was nowhere like this

But here I am, sitting in the smoking room crying
With that 3-minute silence on the phone
I was too afraid to hang up or say my goodbye
‘Cause when I do, I know we’d be gone

On the other side of the phone
I said, ’I hate you’
Even though I really want to follow my heart
Saying, ‘you are just selfish, I’ll never be back’
But I’d do it again, I shouldn’t do it again

On the other side of the phone
You said, ‘I’m sorry’
Tell me what you want to do with my brain
Saying ‘we could still be friends’
‘There will always be the maybes’
And you call me cruel for staying away
Who breaks up like that in an airport?
When at midnight, I’m leaving Nepal